summer

>>It is summer. It has only taken me 2 almost full days to decompress and relax. It took me getting away from home and staying elsewhere for me to really really feel it. As predicted the last week of school was almost hellish. I was so disorganized and out of control that it was over within a second and I felt my kids run off to summer without so much as a hug (it felt like) Last minute IEP's that havent been affirmed, goals that need updating, T.A.s that did not get cards, aides that did not get recognized, 8th graders without presents. I feel badly that so much was slipped through the cracks. I got roped into reading off students names at graduation, so for at least 2+ hours Monday, Tuesday and Thursday I was at grad practice. I am not sad I did it. In fact, it made me feel more like part of the school than I have the whole 2 1/2 years I have been there, but it took time. It took time away from my other students. Granted, I will see most of these kids next year, and my 8th graders needed my time and attention this week. But I hate to leave other unattended. I say this every summer. I worry about my kiddos when I am not able to see them everyday. How do I know they are being taken care of? Eating? Showering?

>> Monday I got home at 6:30. Tuesday had an hour and a half IEP then rushed straight to our staff party, and then didnt get home until 8. Wednesday was picnic day, got back to school at 530, went out with teacher friends and didnt get home until midnight. Final day of school grad practice, random parents showing up at school to "chat with me" about IEP stuff. Running back and forth craziness. Kids running off when the bell rings. I worked, went home, changed and went to graduation until 9 at night. Craziness . ( I know, how many times can i say that?)

>>During the last day of school, Nick came up to me and asked: "Hey, Do you think sometime this summer you would want to come watch me ride my dirtbike?" I told him Of course I would! I would love to! His face lit up. Later he came up and said, "yea know. I don't know if you will be able to find the place. How will you find it?" So, I gave in. I looked at that excitement and I wrote down my cell phone number. I explained that he should feel very special because I do not give this out to anybody. I said he should not abuse it, but give it to his mom when he got home and Call me sometime this summer so I can come watch him ride. Later, he was on the phone with his mom and he said "I ask miss ___ if she wanted to come watch me ride my dirt bike this summer! She said yes! I have her number so I will give it you when I get home"
.. worth it.

Sam. My little Sam. One of the few I have had all 3 years. All grown up. Had brain surgery just months ago, and he's back and full of life. He came up afterwards and said, "but can't I have your number too? What if I have an emergency and I need your help!"

How do you respond to that? Apparently I am a sucker.

3 1/2

>> 3 1/2 more days of school. Bittersweet.. crazy. fun... so many words can describe how I am feeling. My new student left as quickly as he came, and I never had a chance to really reach him. 4 days is hardly easy to connect with a kid, especially a kid who has moved around to many schools and puts up a tough front. I feel badly because I went into the situation angry because getting a new student the last 10 days of school hardly seems fair. (to me, or the kid) I didn't give anyone a fair chance, or a fair shot but, I am happy to say we survived each other. It's depressing to know that the 5 days or so he was with us, were the worse behaved my kids were the entire year. One student can change all the dynamics. Sad.

>>This week is going to be crazy and busy. Monday I have a IEP, and work after school. Tuesday last IEP of the year and the school staff party. Wednesday is picnic day, and Thursday is the last day of school and graduation. I have 5 kiddos leaving me this year. And I think I might just cry during graduation. Sad.. I don't want to think about it.