Half a day left...

And I think I might lose it.

>>Today was beyond fun. It was picnic day! all the grades have seperate picnics, and I went with my 4 6th graders to the picnic. We stayed at school where there is a huge water games/squirt gun fight. Plus they have water slides, and a BBQ. We had a BLAST! It's finally a day where I can get away with acting like a huge kid. Not only did all my kids Jamie, Phillip, Grace and John spray me with water every chance they got, but, they were well behaved, interacted with other kids, followed the rules, and really were involved with what was going on. Jamie drenched me every chance he got. Dumped buckets on my head. We continually tried to steal squirt guns from each other, which resulted in us both falling into the mud. There was about 3 inches of water covering the entire field so basically it was like walking through 3 inches of mud over the entire field. (see attached picture) When our principal came down, everyone attacked and he decided to use me as a human shield! I was getting into the war with other kids and I really felt like part of the school/group. It's been nice to feel like a member of the staff, and I love seeing my kids be part of the 6th grade class. Finally at around 1:30. I took my kids back up and water was again dumped over my head by Jamie and then recieved numerous hugs and wet attaches from my kiddos. It was a blast. I love getting a chance to act like a kid, be silly wiht my students and not feel guilty about having some fun. I really really loved it. It was a great way to end the year iwth my 6th graders.

>>When my 7th graders got back Sam came right up to me and said:
Sam: (Insert girls name who he has a crush on) was wearing a bathing suit today!
Me: really? did she look pretty?
Sam: uhm.. yea.. and we hung out almost the whole time!
Me: Thats awesome! I'm glad you had a fun!
Sam: Uhm.. Why do I tell you this stuff?

--
I love that he likes to tell me about what's going on. Its really hard for him to like her so much. and he doesnt really know what to do.

Only a half day left. I am so so so sad. :(

My dirty feet after the picnic:

3

>>Three days left. Tomorrow is our last full day really, Wednesday are picnics, and thursday is a half day with graduation at night. Jamie's uncle who has custody came into class this morning to full me in with the plan, but also to express how amazing I am. He said how he def. could not have survived this year without me, and I have been amazing. He asked me if this was a new career for me, and I said yes it's my first year, and he made a comment about how easy it must be for me to get emotionally attached. I care a lot about Jamie, and we have been through way to much this year, but I felt like it was cheapened when he made that comment. (does that make sense?) LIke, oh, if I had been a teacher long, maybe I would have gone to court with him while he was getting taken away from his mom? Or maybe I wouldnt have taken him out so many times when he was at the children's shelter over christmas vacation? I'm not sure what he meant. But, it meant a lot for him to acknowledge how much we've done and helped with jamie this year. He said that Jamie may not be coming back this year, which is really really sad for me, but prob for the best. I do not know what to think.

Quotes:

Sam: (while looking through the yearbook) I don't really like that girl. I just wanna fix her face.
--

Carl: I swear he has a swat sign on his wall (he meant swastika)
--

Aide: Why would you cheat at this game! You cant grab whatever card you want! You have to take the top...
Carl: (while he is taking out his phone) Hold on.. let me record this.

4

>>4 days left. Grades are in (completely). Every single IEP signed and submitted. This weekend will be spent updating IEP goals, and burning end of the year DVDs for my kiddos. My students are so wild, and crazy, and inappropriate. How to make them understand that sometimes I dont want to hear about their girl problems, or private thoughts? I try to express to them that my classroom is safe place. They can talk with me about stuff that they possibly cant talk with their parents about. I really do not mind giving them social help, because a lot of them don't have the social graces that other kids do. Who else is going to be there to explain to them how to talk with girls? and not act awkward? That is part of the job of being a special education teacher right? Not just teaching them academics, but teaching them how be successful in the real world?

>>I was recently asked to take on a home-hospital case. Did I mention this? Home-hospital students are students that are too medically fragile to attend school, so they receive school in their home. I have not met the student yet, but she is a 5 year old baby girl. I am excited to learn, and scared because I have never done this before and I hope I can handle it.

Quotes:
(one of my students was drawing a pirate ship)
Zed: You get to be on my crew! You do too (aide)!
Aide: I dont want a job! I just wanna eat!
Me: Maybe she could be the taste tester?
Paul: Thats way too dangerous!
--

(discussing snot and picking your nose)
Jamie: I never pick my nose, not since I was a kid and my snot went down my throat into my stomach and then down there (points at crotch area) and then sprayed out! it was all gooey!

Quote from tuesday:

Jamie: I know a guy that lost a finger foot!
Me: You mean a toe?

5

>>5 days left.
This post will be quick, because I am being lazy and reading even though I have grades to do. I have finished with all my IEP's for the year. I have completed my transition to high school meetings, (almost) my grades, and turning in my students permission slips for end of the year picnics. I have received my first evaluation, and also yelled at an aide today. Its been a wonderful wonderful year. I'm afraid for it to end.

>>My students are getting this new found stigma about being in special ed. They do not want to be seen with me, around me, or for other students to know I am their teacher. This does not bug me, because I KNOW when they are in my classroom it is a whole different world. They feel safe, respected, smart, and loved.

>>I found out today that Jamie, is probably moving with his aunt/uncle in the bay area. This makes me sad. The amount of work I have put into that kid, let alone spending a whole year trying to make him understand how much we love and care about him. How much he has dealt with this year. and just how much I like having him around. I am sad. I am sad, and I will miss him. I want him to stay, but I keep thinking that this move will be better for him. I just... I am being selfish because I wanted to be there for him, and I wanted to see how great he became.