>>My huge stash of papers is getting smaller and smaller! I am very proud of myself. Things are slowly feeling normal again. I'm getting back into the swing my students are doing well, it's nice.

My school is starting a new type of special day class. Its for more behavior problem students, so some of my students will end up there. The teacher started last week but his classroom as not been ready, so he has been helping out in my class. I always get nervous with new adults in my classroom. I feel like they are there to watch me, and it makes me feel nervous. He's been really great and helpful and all that. Then, i get worried about him taking my job. That sounds so weird. But, last year the teacher was fired without much notice. I actually came into the picture and went to observe the classroom before he was let go. So, it makes me nervous that they would do that to me. Ack!

I guess I'm just freaking. Thats it. :)

Funny Quotes

>>Things are slowly getting better.

Funny quote from today:

IA (instructional assitant): Oh! Phillip?! Did you tell Miss T. what sunday is?
Me: No, he didnt tell me. (even though I knew it was his birthday)
Phillip: ITS the OSCARS!
Me: hahhaa. thats true but whatelse?
Phillip: Winter wipeout?!
Me: How about your birthday?
Phillip: YES!

Hm

>>Life has been hard this last week. Many of you know why. Before this even happened I felt overwhelmed and lost with a lot of what had been going on. I felt frustrated and I never let myself get frustrated. It isn't like me. We went back to school today after having last week off, and two of my instructional assitants were absent and we had two sub's . I found myself getting frustrated. I hate to blame it on the fact that last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life, but its prob part of it. I should give my students a chance. I shouldn't let them be sucked into my grief.

>>Tomorrow is a new day. The days are counting down until the end of school and these students deserve better than I have given them recently. I shouldnt be short tempered and easy to upset. Its easy to get that way, its harder to realize it and try and do better.

>> I was the only teacher who dressed up. I wore my total 80's leggings, and leg warmers and even wore high heels (and I totally almost fell down the stairs in them) Luckily, I have amazing instructional assistants who dressed up with me. I was happy to show my school spirit and have an amazing time. I loved my costume and many of my students told my how pretty I looked (which is funny because i was dressed crazy)

>>We had a minimum day, an assembly, and then I changed my clothes and had two back to back IEP meetings. Wow. Literally my back hurts, and my legs hurt and everything hurts. I am done.

Dress up days

>>I am embarrassed with how upset I let myself get yesterday. I usually do not like that happen, but it was just one thing after another and that was the tip of the iceberg. I apologized to a few ladies at school today and they were all very understanding explain how that happens to all of us, and we are here to help pull each other out of it. It was nice and reassuring.

>>Tomorrow is a dress-up day at school. It is "time warp". so you are supposed to dress up like retro, or futuristic. I am going totally 80's because, well I was born in the 80's and they rock. I am wearing gold high heels (if i decide to actually keep them on), pink stripy leg warmers, black leggings, teal shorts and a bright pink shirt. Plus a headband. The issue with middle school is that people arent very big on dressing up. Well, students are. But, there is something about teachers at the middle school where they dont like the participate. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but i doubt it. I am excited. I am totally into all that dress-up stuff and in hopes of not looking/acting/seeming like a middle schooler myself, I have not fully participated in dress up days so far this year, but I think it's time things have changed. I am allowed to have a good time and dress up and show my school spirit with my students. It gets them involved and excited.

>>I am still nervous though..

Angry

>>I am angry. I am trying to distance myself from the situation. I am trying to think that it is just a student, and a family, and not everyone is perfect. I am breathing deep. Relaxing. I should run or something. I have a student who is an 8th grader that whenever he is pushed, or told something he does not like he just shuts down. He will shut down until whatever is making him upset (usually a person, or a period of the day) is over. For example: he does not want to do something in math. He will first say, "I can't write because my fingers hurt" Or " I cannot do that because I am so tired from not sleeping all night" etc. etc. excuses excuses. Then, you (or any teacher) will tell him "But Chris, you have to do this or you will not get a good grade..not get tickets.. not get fun friday" Then, he just puts his head down. or makes another excuse, or goes and sits in his desk. The new place we put him is in our "peace table"/ time out/ I need a break cubby. He used to run from the room and hide around the school so this is better. Anyways. Today. 7th period a reading group finished Holes last week. I was explaining how I am having the students make a cover for the book holes, but first they have to write the summary of the book and type it up and then they design the book cover. He was missed last week so he did not get to start his. He refused to do this, and then explained how he remembered nothing from the book. I gave him a copy of the book and said that he could read through it to try and remember. Again, he couldnt remember anything, and then his hand hurt and he couldnt write. I explained how this is the end of the book project and if he does not complete it he will get a 0 and then his grade will suffer. He stood up and went to the peace cubby. He sat their quietly through the whole period, and then it was time to get on the bus. He refused to get up. refused to answer anyone. would not speak. I should warn you that his mother had called me this morning to explain how he may be having a bad day but she has zero gas in her car and no money to get any so she cannot come and get him no matter what.

Finally we got him out of the cubby and into the office where his bus had to leave him and he had to sit there. His mother could not come and get him. I hid out in another teachers room because I was upset. THe student knew he couldnt get picked up and that he was too far to walk. I was upset I am upset. So, i needed to relax. Then i find out that they called the cobs to come and pikck up the kid and they would not come and said that this is the schools issue. So the principle said he would drive him home. He still refused to get into the car.

Finally i go back into the office and talk with him and we get him into the principles care but only because I will go with them. So we drove this student home, and now I am home. and still upset and trying to calm down.

GAH!.

swamped

>>I have been way to busy lately. DId I already post about feeling this way? I feel like everything is just a blur. Meetings and meetings and training and parents, and ipods, and psps and porn, and baby bisexuals. These are real things I have to deal with daily. I had ANOTHER day of training Tuesday, and of course there was an issue with a student looking at inappropriate things on the computer in the "lunch time fun room". The women who runs the lunch time room was also at the training with me so we both had subs. So our subs had to deal with it, it escalated, I hate not being there. I have three IEPS next week, a half day, touch of class (which is half a week of school activities and dances and all that). Plus I had a mom who is attempted to meet with me at 4 Pm on a friday before we have a week off vacation. That is NOT fair. I'm trying to be accommodating, but I need to have limits.

>> Funny conversation from today:
Phillip: Something is wrong with your eyes Miss T. You need to fix them.
(I was wearing green eyeshadow)
Me: It's eye shadow, you dont like it?
Phillip: No. it's weird, fix it.