>>Everyday is better. I am down to only 9 kids which is almost easy. There are periods of the day when I have 3 kids, and it's me and a aide in the class. EASY. We are able to really focus, but the difficult part is that we cant really do rotating groups as easily as we could in the past. This makes for cranky students, but still allows us time to figure out what we want to work on, and how we want to run things. I can't believe that I started last year with 19 students, and now I am at only 9. It's peaceful. I feel like things are faling into place, but I still have more ideas that I want to put into affect and I am not quiet sure how yet. It's difficult with my IA basically being "against me" to try out new things and such. But, this is a learning experience. It's a learning experience to work with someone who is unhappy in their placement, and who I don't really consider my "friend" It's good for me.

>>My home hospital student has been going AMAZING. WE have so much fun, and it's really working out great. (let's hope the money is worth it :))

>>Sam has been having a rough time and he is pulling at my heart strings. He hasn't been eating dinner. I am not really sure what is going on at home because he does not really explain it clearly. Last week he went at least 3 days without dinner and on friday we loaded him up with cup of noodles, pudding, crackers, everything we had around the classroom. Today, he said he STILL wasn't eating. It is very very hard, because I KNOW his family loves him. I know he doesn't want to be taken away from them, but when is this a case to call CPS. It's so hard. I'm stuck.

>>sorry there has been nothing fun/funny going on lately. We are still getting into the swing of things.

>>Things drastically calmed down by the end of the week, but I really did not think I would make it. The drama I had to deal with was just too much. Too many people are unhappy, but I really can't fix other peoples problems. I can only to as much as I can to help myself and my students be happy. That is enough people to worry about right? I have to pick my battles, and I know this sounds awful but I need to take care of myself. Sometimes that is what needs to be done.

>> I am ready to get the rest of this year going, and have a good strong year.

Over it

>>My students are perfect angels. I love it. They are so much fun, and they work hard, they are polite and funny. If I could teach each one of them by myself, I would. I am sick of adding other people into the mix. It complicates things. I guess this is sort of my problem anyway, because I just want to do everything myself. (I am bad at sharing the responsibility) But, everyone else complicates things. I can handle myself. My students. My angels. But, the adults. I cannot. I hate conflict. I want everyone to like me. I would rather just give in to peoples outrageous demands then deal with them complaining everyday. THis is flaws, but sometimes it's easier for me. Me being upset and stressed and hating my job doesnt help these kids. But, giving someone what they want for a little bit of peace does..

I dont know what else.

Wow

>>I find this is the title for a lot of my blogs. I survived the first week, barely. The kids are amazing! My two new students are really well behaved and fun. My students parents have not been calling every 5 seconds, I have barely even heard from them (yay!) The main issue I have experiences is my new I.A.'s and new teachers. Our school got 3 new full time teachers this year, and 2 of them have some of my students (with I.A. support) in their classes. So, they were confused. They didnt know how to handle them. They didnt know how to adapt and on top of having new I.A's who don't know my students I was running all around trying to get everyone on the same page. The two teachers are there, and ready and understanding (now..) This issue is, I have a I.A. who came from a resource class. Resource or RSP students are WAY different from mine. They mostly have just lower reading skills, and lower math skills but are able to go to regular science, SS, P.E. and electives usually without an Aide. My students are not like that. They are capable of sitting in these regular classes, but they need constant modifications. They need someone there adapting each assignment they are given, and then helping them complete what they are given. The aide from RSP, is trying to help the entire class (like she is used to) and then my students are becoming frustrated because they need her. They need her there to help step by step. and she's not.
>>To top it off, this I.A. (who has been is RSP for YEARS) is dating the teacher in that class. (that is why she got moved - yes I know drama). So, she goes back to him - complains. Then he complains to his I.A. (who used to be mine last year) and then she comes to me and tells me all about this. At this point I am ready to just pull her completely and move her around. Or go into this classes with her, and see exactly what she is doing. I am frustrated because she needs to realize my students are WAY different. It's time to stop complaining and get with it. I am available for help. I have given her ideas. I don't know what else to do. But, it's getting frustrating.

>>I am just happy that my students are good. So, that;s the first week!

Tomorrow...

>>Tomorrow starts school. The last two days have been teacher workdays/meetings. I have recieved 2 new students during this time, 1 of which I had no idea what to do with. (I figured it out though, even though it messed up my schedules) I have met both my new I.A.'s and they will do wonderful even if they are scared. I got, 90% of what I wanted done. I threw away 4 boxes of trash (not to mention the 6 trash cans) and sent to our district office 5 boxes of old curriculum, but I still have way too much. I learned that Jamie will not be returning this year for school, so I am guessing that he is doing well with his aunt and uncle. Is it wrong that I miss my kids? I miss the ones I didnt know were leaving and that just never showed up. I want a good-bye. I want to know their excuse is that they are moving to high school not that they moved and were never heard from again.
>>I will survive. More info tomorrow.

Back to school

>>While driving home from our long vacation this past week, the realization that school was starting totally sunk in. My aides got their assignments and NONE of my three aides will be returning. Not that it was their decision, but they all got moved. Two of them to different schools, and one to a different class on campus. I'm a little stressed because, these 3 knew my students, they knew curriculum, the school, etc. etc. etc. Now, I have two new instructional assistants (one full day, one half). So, throughout the drive home, i am getting calls, texts, i am calling and texting to try and sort things out and figure out who got moved and who I will be sharing the year with.

>>Then, the day after we got home I started the Home hospital case. I am glad I am doing it, but it is a lot. I need the money, and the experience, but again 5 extra hours a week its going to make a dent. I started this week, and completed 4 hours. It was interesting and fun, and I do look forward to doing it.

>>Finally, I am trying to sort out money, and what else needs to be completed before my credential clears. This is a pain. I am waiting on scores from things i submitted a few weeks ago, and passing those depends on everything else. STRESS IS HERE.. Not to mention, i need to go to my classroom. GAH. This blog post is showing my stress. I apologize :)

MIA

>>I know I have been MIA. And i know I didn't even write about the last day of school. Of course it's hard to write about teaching when you're not teaching, but it also is hard for me to come here and THINK about teaching. Reminders about work either make me stress out, or get sad. I miss my students. I worry about them over the summer because I don't get to see them every week to make sure they are eating, or being taken care of. I am not sure they are brushing their teeth, or showering. I can't see that their clothes are clean, and that someone is smiling at them and giving them positive reinforcement everyday. When I see them, I check on these things. I know it's more than a teacher should do, and I know some of those things sound like a child should never have to go through them. But, in my first year of teaching I saw those things. I liked being able to check on them. Help them. Be there for them. So, being here makes me sad. It makes me worry. It also makes me stress about all the things "I said" I would do get ready for next year that I haven't. I have to make goal binders. I have to go through my countless cupboards of crud that's been in my classroom since before I got there and decide what I want and want I will never use. I am going on vacation next week and after that I WILL GET THINGS DONE.

>>The last day of school went very well. I brought my dogs in which the kids LOVED. WE all spent the day together (I didnt make them go to their other classes) we played games, watched movies, signed yearbooks. I forced kids to give me hugs when they left. Graduation was amazing. I was so proud of my kiddos. I was so proud of my student who won the award. His parents were so happy. Crying and thanking me for an amazing year. Wishing I had been there al 3 years with him. I wish too. I wish too.