>> One of my students pulled the fire alarm during lunch because she wanted to get into trouble..

'Nuff said.

>>Everyday brings new and different challenges. I feel like I get to a point where things are calm, but then something else comes up. It's okay. Take each day as it comes.

>> I have been overly obsessed with the education tab of pintrest. Sooo many good ideas. Soo many fun projects. Sooo many fun worksheets. how do these people make these beautiful worksheets! I want a program that can do that. Help!

So much

>>so much has happened over this past week, I cannot explain it all. Steve, (the student who went on the roof a week ago, and has been caught leaving campus and walking along the side of a busy road) Had a huge major melt-down monday, and as of wednesday we decided to find him another placement. The meeting was strenuous, and insane, and I am still getting text messages from mom trying to make me feel guilty. But, I know it was right. Someday I will explain the incident.

>> Carl, my student from last year, is coming back starting next week. I am really excited because I liked Carl, but I am dreading the idea of yet ANOTHER student. It's okay. We will deal.

>>I have been told by almost everyone in Jamie's life that I am the person he trusts more than anyone in the whole world, and he talks about me all the time. This makes me happy. I know that the relationship we have, is what he needs and I am so glad he is back in my life. I am sad the circumstances that led to this point, but I know that what I am doing is right. I know that spending time with him makes us both feel good. I know that this is above and beyond what other teachers might do, but it makes me feel so happy and worthwhile (with the same for him) that I know it is amazing. I know I will be the person in his life for many years to come and I am glad to be that person.

>>Sam let the word "motor boating" slip out today and I have never seen a student more upset or embarrassed. I am assuming he meant this as something inappropriate, but I felt so badly because he just could not get over the fact that he said that word to me. He came to me and apologized so much and over and over and was sorry. It was cute.

>>Finally, I had a meeting with Nick's mom yesterday and SHE went on and on and on about how much he likes me and my class. She said he comes home and everyday is quoting me, telling her about me, telling what I said or did and how great it is. She is so happy with how well he is doing and fitting in.

ahh. Happy.

>>Oh, and actually I got asked today if I wanted to be "teacher of the lifetime" because of how awesome I am. This makes me feel awesome. Makes it worth it.

Another day..

>>Nick: I don't know why anyone would want to be a teacher. It seems boring.

Me: Trust me you guys are never boring.

>>A few weeks ago (after vacation) I thought to myself, I am sort of a lazy teacher. I sit at my group table. Move back and forth to my desk. Do the same thing almost daily. Never mixing it up. I had not tested my students skills or goals since before break. I RARELY left my classroom. I felt like I was being lazy. I felt like I should be more involved, more proactive. I spoke too soon. Within the last two weeks I have come home EXHAUSTED. I feel like I barely have time to think. I left the house two days last week, locked the door and realized I didn't have my car keys with me. I find myself checking my work email until 9 o'clock and night and REPLYING to emails because there is just so much to do. I have scratch paper notes stuck in every section of my planner to remind me of things that need to be done. I synced my outlook (work) calendar with my phone to ensure that I would remember everything, and that I could add appts. while I am at home and thinking. I had a student climb on the roof. Last week I had a meeting everyday after school (well except friday) 2 on thursday. 2 during school hours, and plus one in the morning. I had duty 3 days last week, an aide change schedule, and took out Jamie mid-week. So far this week, I had a speech teacher pawn off a student to my caseload, a student become violent and get suspended for 3 days. A meeting that lasted until 4 after school and then I brought Jamie home. Tomorrow I have duty, taking Jamie out. Wednesday I have a meeting during my lunch, and a meeting before school. I never again will say that I feel lazy.

>>Quotes: YAY WE"VE MISSED THIS FUN PART!

Phillip: Tomorrow I want to learn how to speak whale.. AHHOOOOHHHOOO.

--

Nick: I am 2 weeks off of energy drinks.. I think I have ADHD.

--

Sam: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT I AM A FULL GROWN TEENAGER!

AHH

>> Jamie may be leaving again. Gosh. As it was last year, it is again one of the hardest situations to go through. I feel like I am his ONLY good stable influence. He is a good kid. He is a fun kid. I have SO much fun being with him. They will not let him have a razor at the receiving home, so I kept him after school today and brought him one to use. Then brought him back around 4. I seriously want to bring him home everyday. Let him sit in my house, eat a snack, do some homework, read. All these things a stable household should be. He has NEVER had that. Well, he has lived with two different uncles and they were good. But, they could not handle him so, it did not work out. So what not? He gets moved to another NEW enviornment. ANOTHER new family. ANOTHER new school. How is that fair? When is it too much? When am I caring too much? There too much? I don't think there is a too much, but maybe there is? This is so beyond anything I have been trained to deal with. Caring for these kids, loving this kids. It's hard.

>> so what now? We wait. We wait to see what his social worker does. He has no say in anything because he is under 16. He cannot even talk during his court dates. He needs to be taught to advocate for himself. But, he can't. It's hard. So, he ends up getting moved again and I may never hear or talk to him again? That's what happened after last year, and I thought I'd never see him again, but now he's back so how do we prevent that? How to I ensure he knows I am here for him no matter what, because that's what he needs. This seems so impossible.

difficult

>>If you have followed my blog for any length of time you know about Jamie. Jamie was my student who was at a receiving home for a month last year while he was in transistion between living placements. Well, I know I haven't gone into much detail since Jamie has been back in the receiving home, but well here is some. Jamie left his last placement because he tried to kill himself and they just felt they could not give him the care he needs. They are trying to place him with distant family (who he was with last year) but there is legal issues, so it prob will not go through. So, they are looking at long term foster care for him. This could be good, or it could be bad. I do not want to lose Jamie again. He has had so many people let him down and give up on him and I will not. I just want to be a consistant good role model for him. I want to be in his life, and be there for him. I took him out on an outing today and we had a really good time. He is a good kid and we talked about a lot of stuff. It surprised me to find out that he really trusts me more than anyone else in his life, and he feels like he can talk to me about anything. I want to be this person. I want him to know that I am here for him, and I will be through everything. I almost wish I was not his teacher because I would think about taking him on as a foster child. I know that is crazy, but he needs good role models in his life. He needs someone who will care for him. Make him do his homework, but also have fun. Give him responsiblities and not give up when things get too hard. I can only do so much. It pulls at my heartstrings because what happens if this foster family does not work out. What happens if they treat him badly? It could be that they are amazing, and it's the family hes always wanted and needed, but what if it doesn't. Last time he moved away I did not have much contact with him/his caregivers until he started having problems. So, what happens now? This is such a hard thing to go through and I do not know what is right. I know what I am doing is right. But, is there more? Should I not be getting so close? Should I not take him out and respect the boundaries of being his teacher? What's the line? Where's the line between being a teacher and being a family for this kid? I just don't know.

out of control

>>Have I started my posts with that recently? It feels like everyday my students are out of control. Well I shouldnt say students, I should say student. Most of it revolves around 2 or 3 of my 11. Today:

A student asked to use the bathroom and never came back. We looked. We had to all call them (over the loud speaker) and finally the custodian found him hiding behind a golf cart. Another student was found on the roof, while he had an aide with him, during the one period where I have no support (or aide) I had to call the other SDC teacher to come watch my kiddos while I sprinted down to the girls locker room.

Finally a student was beyond disrespectful, whiney, anger, mean and I finally gave him a citation after 50 warnings and he sat down and cried..

WOW.

better

>>Everyday gets better.. finding common ground with people, making friends, hearing compliments. This is what makes a happy teacher. Hearing that you did a good job.. that's all it takes.