Back to school

>>While driving home from our long vacation this past week, the realization that school was starting totally sunk in. My aides got their assignments and NONE of my three aides will be returning. Not that it was their decision, but they all got moved. Two of them to different schools, and one to a different class on campus. I'm a little stressed because, these 3 knew my students, they knew curriculum, the school, etc. etc. etc. Now, I have two new instructional assistants (one full day, one half). So, throughout the drive home, i am getting calls, texts, i am calling and texting to try and sort things out and figure out who got moved and who I will be sharing the year with.

>>Then, the day after we got home I started the Home hospital case. I am glad I am doing it, but it is a lot. I need the money, and the experience, but again 5 extra hours a week its going to make a dent. I started this week, and completed 4 hours. It was interesting and fun, and I do look forward to doing it.

>>Finally, I am trying to sort out money, and what else needs to be completed before my credential clears. This is a pain. I am waiting on scores from things i submitted a few weeks ago, and passing those depends on everything else. STRESS IS HERE.. Not to mention, i need to go to my classroom. GAH. This blog post is showing my stress. I apologize :)

MIA

>>I know I have been MIA. And i know I didn't even write about the last day of school. Of course it's hard to write about teaching when you're not teaching, but it also is hard for me to come here and THINK about teaching. Reminders about work either make me stress out, or get sad. I miss my students. I worry about them over the summer because I don't get to see them every week to make sure they are eating, or being taken care of. I am not sure they are brushing their teeth, or showering. I can't see that their clothes are clean, and that someone is smiling at them and giving them positive reinforcement everyday. When I see them, I check on these things. I know it's more than a teacher should do, and I know some of those things sound like a child should never have to go through them. But, in my first year of teaching I saw those things. I liked being able to check on them. Help them. Be there for them. So, being here makes me sad. It makes me worry. It also makes me stress about all the things "I said" I would do get ready for next year that I haven't. I have to make goal binders. I have to go through my countless cupboards of crud that's been in my classroom since before I got there and decide what I want and want I will never use. I am going on vacation next week and after that I WILL GET THINGS DONE.

>>The last day of school went very well. I brought my dogs in which the kids LOVED. WE all spent the day together (I didnt make them go to their other classes) we played games, watched movies, signed yearbooks. I forced kids to give me hugs when they left. Graduation was amazing. I was so proud of my kiddos. I was so proud of my student who won the award. His parents were so happy. Crying and thanking me for an amazing year. Wishing I had been there al 3 years with him. I wish too. I wish too.

Half a day left...

And I think I might lose it.

>>Today was beyond fun. It was picnic day! all the grades have seperate picnics, and I went with my 4 6th graders to the picnic. We stayed at school where there is a huge water games/squirt gun fight. Plus they have water slides, and a BBQ. We had a BLAST! It's finally a day where I can get away with acting like a huge kid. Not only did all my kids Jamie, Phillip, Grace and John spray me with water every chance they got, but, they were well behaved, interacted with other kids, followed the rules, and really were involved with what was going on. Jamie drenched me every chance he got. Dumped buckets on my head. We continually tried to steal squirt guns from each other, which resulted in us both falling into the mud. There was about 3 inches of water covering the entire field so basically it was like walking through 3 inches of mud over the entire field. (see attached picture) When our principal came down, everyone attacked and he decided to use me as a human shield! I was getting into the war with other kids and I really felt like part of the school/group. It's been nice to feel like a member of the staff, and I love seeing my kids be part of the 6th grade class. Finally at around 1:30. I took my kids back up and water was again dumped over my head by Jamie and then recieved numerous hugs and wet attaches from my kiddos. It was a blast. I love getting a chance to act like a kid, be silly wiht my students and not feel guilty about having some fun. I really really loved it. It was a great way to end the year iwth my 6th graders.

>>When my 7th graders got back Sam came right up to me and said:
Sam: (Insert girls name who he has a crush on) was wearing a bathing suit today!
Me: really? did she look pretty?
Sam: uhm.. yea.. and we hung out almost the whole time!
Me: Thats awesome! I'm glad you had a fun!
Sam: Uhm.. Why do I tell you this stuff?

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I love that he likes to tell me about what's going on. Its really hard for him to like her so much. and he doesnt really know what to do.

Only a half day left. I am so so so sad. :(

My dirty feet after the picnic:

3

>>Three days left. Tomorrow is our last full day really, Wednesday are picnics, and thursday is a half day with graduation at night. Jamie's uncle who has custody came into class this morning to full me in with the plan, but also to express how amazing I am. He said how he def. could not have survived this year without me, and I have been amazing. He asked me if this was a new career for me, and I said yes it's my first year, and he made a comment about how easy it must be for me to get emotionally attached. I care a lot about Jamie, and we have been through way to much this year, but I felt like it was cheapened when he made that comment. (does that make sense?) LIke, oh, if I had been a teacher long, maybe I would have gone to court with him while he was getting taken away from his mom? Or maybe I wouldnt have taken him out so many times when he was at the children's shelter over christmas vacation? I'm not sure what he meant. But, it meant a lot for him to acknowledge how much we've done and helped with jamie this year. He said that Jamie may not be coming back this year, which is really really sad for me, but prob for the best. I do not know what to think.

Quotes:

Sam: (while looking through the yearbook) I don't really like that girl. I just wanna fix her face.
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Carl: I swear he has a swat sign on his wall (he meant swastika)
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Aide: Why would you cheat at this game! You cant grab whatever card you want! You have to take the top...
Carl: (while he is taking out his phone) Hold on.. let me record this.

4

>>4 days left. Grades are in (completely). Every single IEP signed and submitted. This weekend will be spent updating IEP goals, and burning end of the year DVDs for my kiddos. My students are so wild, and crazy, and inappropriate. How to make them understand that sometimes I dont want to hear about their girl problems, or private thoughts? I try to express to them that my classroom is safe place. They can talk with me about stuff that they possibly cant talk with their parents about. I really do not mind giving them social help, because a lot of them don't have the social graces that other kids do. Who else is going to be there to explain to them how to talk with girls? and not act awkward? That is part of the job of being a special education teacher right? Not just teaching them academics, but teaching them how be successful in the real world?

>>I was recently asked to take on a home-hospital case. Did I mention this? Home-hospital students are students that are too medically fragile to attend school, so they receive school in their home. I have not met the student yet, but she is a 5 year old baby girl. I am excited to learn, and scared because I have never done this before and I hope I can handle it.

Quotes:
(one of my students was drawing a pirate ship)
Zed: You get to be on my crew! You do too (aide)!
Aide: I dont want a job! I just wanna eat!
Me: Maybe she could be the taste tester?
Paul: Thats way too dangerous!
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(discussing snot and picking your nose)
Jamie: I never pick my nose, not since I was a kid and my snot went down my throat into my stomach and then down there (points at crotch area) and then sprayed out! it was all gooey!

Quote from tuesday:

Jamie: I know a guy that lost a finger foot!
Me: You mean a toe?

5

>>5 days left.
This post will be quick, because I am being lazy and reading even though I have grades to do. I have finished with all my IEP's for the year. I have completed my transition to high school meetings, (almost) my grades, and turning in my students permission slips for end of the year picnics. I have received my first evaluation, and also yelled at an aide today. Its been a wonderful wonderful year. I'm afraid for it to end.

>>My students are getting this new found stigma about being in special ed. They do not want to be seen with me, around me, or for other students to know I am their teacher. This does not bug me, because I KNOW when they are in my classroom it is a whole different world. They feel safe, respected, smart, and loved.

>>I found out today that Jamie, is probably moving with his aunt/uncle in the bay area. This makes me sad. The amount of work I have put into that kid, let alone spending a whole year trying to make him understand how much we love and care about him. How much he has dealt with this year. and just how much I like having him around. I am sad. I am sad, and I will miss him. I want him to stay, but I keep thinking that this move will be better for him. I just... I am being selfish because I wanted to be there for him, and I wanted to see how great he became.